Hi.

This is where I put my thoughts about living. Enjoy!

Shit Ikea Hack #1

Shit Ikea Hack #1

We bought this stool because it was cheap and because the other children's chairs we looked at at Ikea also seemed cheap, but weren't cheap enough considering they looked like cheap pieces of crap. And since we already throwing down a whole $25 for a children's craft table, we thought we could spare an extra $3, but no way $12. 

This stool has three legs (insert 3-legged stool jokes here). Any child who stands on this stool is putting his or her life at risk. Every child who sees this stool thinks instantly, "I must stand on this stool." Any time your child sits on this stool, at a completely random moment that is in no way tied to the amount of wiggling he is doing, he will move in a way that creates an imbalance in the stool's equilibrium and get dumped on his ass. Sometimes the equilibrium imbalance is so extreme that the stool will spontaneously shoot out from underneath him and fly across the room. It also has a unique puffy quality which suggests botulism and causes slight sympathetic unease in the viewer, much akin to a mild case of bloat.

After about two weeks of watching our child fall off the stool in a variety of surprising and sometimes harrowing ways we decided that we'd gotten our $3 worth, and threw the stool into the yard. Then, a few days later, I had the genius idea to give him some Sharpies and let him decorate it. Which he did, quite diligently and to a very artistic effect. I think he did a pretty awesome job. But the stool was still a p.o.s., so I think it kicked around the yard for a few weeks more - adding to the white trash chic look we've been cultivating, before the artwork faded and it finally made its way to the trash.

Shit Ikea Hack #2

Shit Ikea Hack #2

Getting Past My Little Princess Problem

Getting Past My Little Princess Problem